We were having Tofurky for dinner when one of our video call guests brought up the fun fact that when it was first being marketed, the company making it wanted people to submit their ideas for A Tofurky In Its Natural Habitat … which of course got everyone in the call debating the phylogeny of Tofurky and what its ecological niche is.
Please try to imagine a creature whose roast carcass looks like this:
This came from something that was:
Boneless
Limbless
Unsegmented
Bilaterally symmetrical
And which, in addition to being comprised mostly of dense, fleshlike tissue, also had an internal body cavity, possibly filled with organs, which is traditionally eviscerated and filled with rice stuffing. Considering all these features, a Tofurky is obviously some kind of legless invertebrate. Which led us all to the inevitable conclusion:
Is a Tofurky a worm?
I don’t think that the segment of Tofurkey we eat is necessarily an entire creature. The existence of, say, a roast beef doesn’t imply that a cow is boneless and limbless.
What we should be asking is how *big* a single Tofurkey is, and how many Thanksgiving dinners a single one can provide. Could a heretofore unknown apex predator be in our midst?
every time a website describes “appetite suppressant” as a feature of a type of food, i kill another hostage
“nuts are an appetite suppressant!” BECAUSE THEY ARE FOOD. YOU ARE LESS HUNGRY BECAUSE YOU ATE FOOD.
the diet industry is so unbelievably fucked and it’s in your fucking walls. “keeps you full longer so you don’t get hungry an hour after lunch when you’re trying to do something” is a neutral statement of benefit but no we have to treat pistachios like crucial medicine in the war against basic bodily functions.
eating disorder recovery is just getting angry over and over again because food is treated like some horrible necessary evil instead of one of the great joys of life. eat some nuts because they taste good and you are a living thing that thrives on pleasure and calories. you need both.
I need to get some sleep but in case you need to hear it: you deserve to eat. your appetite is not the enemy. if you can, treat yourself to a filling meal of foods you love today. throw pistachio shells at people. be free.
DISCLAIMER: if you or your selected victim have a nut allergy, consider throwing rocks instead. I love you.
this is a great time of year to buy from native stores or donate to native organizations. you can figure out who’s land you’re on here, and below i’ve listed some (of many) businesses you can support ♡
B.Yellowtail — jewlery, clothing, and home goods designed by Bethany Yellowtail, citizen of the Northern Cheyenne Nation and from the Apsáalooke (Crow) Nation
Cheekbone Beauty — sustainable, low-waste beauty products from Jenn Harper, an Anishinaabe artist based in Canada
Trickster — atheletic products from Tlingit and Deg Hit’an Athabascan siblings (Alaska)
NativeHumboldt on Etsy — the artist, Shayna McCullough, and their fiancé make designs inspired by traditional designs from their culture; she is from the Yurok tribe and descended from the Hupa, Karuk, Redwood Creek, Pit River, Yuki, Wintun, Pomo (tribes in California), and Chetco tribe (in Oregon)
OklahomaThirtyNine on Etsy — they mostly sell beaded work, particularly earrings, as well as some necklaces
My favorite shoes in the winter are my Manitobah mukluks, which are Metis-owned and participate heavily in community initiatives with other indigenous nations to train and support artists. They also partner regularly with artists from other nations on their shoes to create custom editions. Currently they are collaborating with Rosa Scribe (Cree), Janae Grass (Sac & Fox),Atheana Picha (Salish), and Melissa Peter-Paul (Mi'kmaw). They also host an indigenous market that showcases and promotes indigenous artists.
Plus they’re warm as hell and the sheepskin lining means I don’t have to wear socks, which is extremely nice sensory comfort. So that’s nice as well.
Eighth Generation (Snoqualmie Tribe) has some beautiful stuff - I’ve bought a huge beautiful beach towel and cool socks from them personally, but they have jewelry, art, housewares, lots of great work.
image is one of my favourite blankets from Eighth Generation
Beam Paints — watercolour paints by Anong Migwans Bean, M'Chigeeng First Nation (located in Ontario), who was taught to harvest pigments by their parents ((recommended by @airbenderinalbion))
Beyond Buckskin — created by Jessica Metcalfe, who is Turtle Mountian Chippewa, they feature and sell works such as moccasins, jewelry, clothing, and blankets from over 40 artists — featured is a beaded Yakima Plateau bag ((recommended by @sassytail))
Haipažaža Pĥežuta — a couple, Lakota and Dakota, from Ocheti Sakowin Tha Makhoche (Sioux Nation) who make soaps, shampoo bars, bath and body products, salves, & more herbal products, incorporating traditional knowledge and using minimal packaging + natural ingredients ((recommended by @wittywallflower))
Sequoia Soaps — soaps, candles, lotions, body mists and body scrubs, founded by Michaelee Lazore, who is Kanien'kehá:ka (Mohawk) from Akwesáhsne and Northern Paiute (in Nevada) ((recommended by @trialofasphodel))
a couple new additions:
Only Child Handicrafts — beadwork created by a 30-year-old beadworker, which they learned while growing up near the Great Lakes from the Anishinaabe; their paternal family is Ojibwe from Fort William First Nation & their patterns are both based on traditional patterns & contemporary ((recommended by @fruityshirts))
Sage & Oats Trading Post — based in Montana, but selling products from native artists across the country, including beadwork, candles, foodstuffs, books, textiles, jewelry, & so much more ((recommended by @samwisegamgeeee))
Sea Wisdom Design — jewelry by łlilawikw (“gatherer of the people”), who is Kwakwaka’wakw, from the Pacific Northwest, whose beautiful historical designs are featured in her art ((recommended by @fruityshirts))
middle picture: blanket made by Rachel Twoteeth Pichardo, a Little Shell artist from North Carolina
It’s not a small creator, but Prados Beauty is indigenous-owned and partners with indigenous designers. They’re pretty mainstream now but I’ve only heard good things about their corporate practices.
Thunderbird Skin — skincare made Mooretown Rancheria Maidu women from Northern California, who now live in the UK. they also make products specifically for eczema & psoriasis & have trial sizes of nearly all their products ((recommended by @a-wild-haggis))
Mistahiminis Beadwork — beautiful art, beaded earrings & embroidery works & sewn bags, made by a nonbinary Nehiyawak (Cree) beadworker in Canada ((recommended by @thymeforeverything))
Choke Cherry Creek — clothing created by Angela Ikūalasaash (“persistence”), a Apsáalooke (Crow) & Pikuni (Blackfeet) woman who incorporates symbols from her heritage into her work ((recommended by @alcidesire))
Good Medicine Clothing — an Apsáalooke-owned (Crow Nation) clothing store, founded by a Native American dancer & hip hop artist (his music links here) ((recommended by @alcidesire))
The Wandering Bull — they carry a huge variety of pow-wow supplies & whatever anyone might need to make their own pieces ((recommended by @lugarn))
Medicine Man Crafts — goods made by people on/near the Eastern band Tsalagi Nation (Cherokee), such as traditional baskets & jewelry, craft supplies, masks & pottery, & so much more ((recommended by @lugarn))
